Surviving A Child Custody Evaluation
As a Christian psychologist specializing in forensic assessments, I frequently work with families in the midst of custody disputes, where emotions run high and the stakes involve the most precious parts of life: our children. Child custody evaluations (also known as parenting evaluations or parenting plan evaluations) are court-ordered assessments designed to provide objective, evidence-based information to help judges make decisions about custody, visitation, decision-making authority, and parenting arrangements. The primary focus is always the child's best interests—ensuring their emotional, physical, developmental, social, and spiritual needs are met in a stable, supportive environment.
These evaluations can feel deeply invasive and stressful, especially when high-conflict dynamics, allegations of abuse, or concerns about one parent undermining the child's relationship with the other are involved. Yet understanding the process empowers parents to participate constructively rather than reactively. In this expanded post, we'll outline what these evaluations entail, how to prepare, offer targeted guidance for attorneys, family members, and parents, and address common challenges—including a detailed look at parental alienation and parental interference, which often arise in contested cases. We'll draw from established professional guidelines (such as the American Psychological Association's 2022 Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Family Law Proceedings) and key resources in forensic psychology.
What Is a Child Custody Evaluation?
A child custody evaluation is a comprehensive, multimethod assessment conducted by a qualified forensic mental health professional (typically a psychologist with specialized training) to inform the court about parenting capacities, family dynamics, parent-child relationships, and the child's needs in cases involving divorce, separation, modification of custody, or relocation. The evaluator examines a wide range of factors: each parent's ability to meet the child's emotional, physical, educational, cultural, and psychological needs; the quality and history of parent-child bonds; co-parenting skills; any history of domestic violence, substance use, child maltreatment, or coercive control; the child's adjustment, preferences (when developmentally appropriate and not coerced), and vulnerabilities; and the overall family system.
The overarching legal and psychological standard is the "best interests of the child," which varies slightly by state statute but generally prioritizes safety, stability, the child's developmental needs, the capacity of each parent to provide a nurturing environment, and the promotion of healthy relationships with both parents when safe and feasible. According to the APA's 2022 Guidelines, evaluators must identify phenomena such as pathogenic parenting practices (including loyalty binding, enmeshment, role reversal, and alienating behaviors), resist-refuse dynamics, and the consequences of high-conflict divorce, while remaining neutral and culturally sensitive.
Unlike therapy, this is a forensic process: the evaluator's role is impartial data-gathering and analysis for the court, not advocacy or treatment. The evaluation is not about assigning blame but about providing the court with reliable, scientifically grounded information to craft a parenting plan that serves the child.
The Evaluation Process: What to Expect
Child custody evaluations are thorough and multi-method, typically spanning several weeks to several months depending on case complexity. The APA guidelines emphasize a multimethod-multitrait approach to maximize reliability and minimize bias.
Key components include:
Individual and Joint Interviews: Extensive clinical interviews with each parent (separately and sometimes together) explore parenting history, daily routines, strengths, concerns, co-parenting history, and responses to allegations. Children (depending on age and court order) are interviewed to assess their views, emotional well-being, and any signs of influence or coercion.
Observations of Parent-Child Interactions: The evaluator observes natural or structured interactions to evaluate attachment, communication, limit-setting, affection, and caregiving skills. These can reveal enmeshment, alienation indicators (e.g., a child appearing anxious or rehearsed near one parent), or healthy bonding.
Psychological Testing and Screening: Standardized instruments assess personality, parenting attitudes, emotional functioning, cognitive abilities, substance use, and risk factors. Testing is selected for forensic relevance and cultural appropriateness; results are interpreted in context, never in isolation.
Collateral Contacts and Record Review: Information is gathered from teachers, therapists, physicians, extended family, prior court records, school reports, medical history, social media (when relevant and ethically obtained), and other sources. This provides objective data on pre- and post-separation functioning.
Report and Recommendations: The evaluator compiles a detailed report summarizing findings, addressing referral questions, discussing data limitations, and offering recommendations for custody arrangements, parenting plans, therapy, or other interventions. The report is submitted to the court and parties; the evaluator may testify at hearings.
Key resources include Philip M. Stahl's Conducting Child Custody Evaluations: From Basic to Complex Issues, which addresses developmental needs, domestic violence, relocation, and parental alienation in depth, and Jonathan W. Gould and David A. Martindale's The Art and Science of Child Custody Evaluations, which stresses scientific validity, hypothesis testing, and avoidance of bias.
Preparing for Your Evaluation
Approach the process with honesty, child-centered focus, thorough documentation, and emotional preparation. Gather evidence of your involvement in your child's life (school records, medical appointments, extracurriculars, photos of routines, communications about co-parenting). Maintain a detailed log of interactions, denials of access, or concerning behaviors without inflammatory language.
Avoid disparaging the other parent—courts and evaluators highly value demonstrated willingness to co-parent. Prepare emotionally by seeking support from a separate therapist (not the evaluator), a pastor, or support group. Prayer and reflection can help maintain perspective: James 3:17 reminds us that wisdom from above is “pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit.” If alienation concerns exist, document patterns calmly and let the evaluator investigate.
Guidance for Attorneys
Attorneys often initiate or respond to evaluations. Provide the evaluator promptly with relevant documents, allegations, prior orders, and observed behaviors. Help your client understand the evaluation's forensic (not therapeutic) purpose and coach them toward child-focused responses. Review draft reports for methodological soundness and prepare for possible cross-examination. Collaborate to ensure the evaluation addresses key issues such as relocation, domestic violence, or suspected alienating behaviors. Stahl and Simon's Forensic Psychology Consultation in Child Custody Litigation offers excellent strategies for work-product review and expert testimony.
Guidance for Family Members (e.g., Grandparents, Extended Family)
Family members can be vital collateral sources. When contacted, provide factual, balanced observations about the child's well-being, parenting interactions, and any observed interference or alienation tactics—without taking sides or speculating. Support the parents by encouraging focus on the child's needs. Your input helps create a fuller picture of the child's environment and history.
Guidance for Parents
As a parent, keep every response focused on the child's best interests. Be truthful and consistent—evaluators assess credibility through patterns across interviews, testing, observations, and collaterals. Highlight your strengths and willingness to facilitate the child's relationship with the other parent (when safe). If allegations of abuse or alienation are involved, provide evidence calmly; let facts speak. Avoid coaching children, discussing the case extensively with them, or using them as messengers. Use this as an opportunity for self-reflection and growth—many parents emerge with clearer parenting plans and improved co-parenting skills.
Common Challenges and How to Overcome Them
High-conflict cases often involve intense emotions, allegations of domestic violence, substance issues, relocation, or claims that one parent is interfering with the child's relationship with the other. Evaluators must screen for bias, use multiple data sources, and address cultural/contextual factors.
Parental Alienation and Parental Interference
These are among the most challenging and controversial issues in custody evaluations. Parental alienation generally refers to a situation in which a child exhibits persistent, unreasonable rejection of one parent (the "rejected" or "targeted" parent) that is primarily driven by the influence, behaviors, or attitudes of the other parent (the "aligned" or "favored" parent), rather than by the rejected parent's actual behavior or legitimate estrangement due to abuse/neglect. Common indicators (per forensic literature and models such as those discussed by Stahl and in decision-tree approaches) include: the child showing no ambivalence, using adult-like language or phrases borrowed from the aligned parent, making vague or exaggerated complaints, rejecting extended family on the rejected side, or appearing enmeshed with the aligned parent while showing anxiety or rehearsed rejection around the targeted parent.
Parental interference is a broader term encompassing behaviors that undermine or restrict the other parent's relationship with the child—such as repeatedly denying or limiting court-ordered parenting time, badmouthing, false allegations, interfering with communication, or creating logistical barriers—without necessarily resulting in the child's full rejection.
The APA 2022 Guidelines explicitly address "alienating behaviors," "restrictive gatekeeping," "pathogenic parenting," and "resist-refuse dynamics." Evaluators must consider multiple hypotheses: genuine alienation, realistic estrangement (due to abuse, neglect, or poor parenting), high-conflict exposure, the child's temperament/age, or a combination. They use structured decision-making (e.g., assessing onset, rigidity, child's cognitive capacity, presence of prior positive relationship, and alienating behaviors) and differentiate carefully—especially when domestic violence or abuse allegations coexist, as mislabeling protective behavior as alienation can be harmful.
Challenges include: polarized narratives, children's limited ability to articulate influence, risk of "confirmation bias," and the emotional damage to children (guilt, anxiety, identity issues, long-term relational problems). Courts and evaluators increasingly recognize that alienation is not a formal diagnosis but a relational dynamic requiring nuanced assessment.
To overcome: Document patterns factually; request a comprehensive evaluation early; cooperate fully; focus on the child's needs rather than "winning." If alienation is found, recommendations may include therapy, increased time with the rejected parent, parenting education, or in severe cases, custody modification. If interference is present but alienation has not fully taken root, courts may order make-up time, sanctions, or supervised transitions.
Other challenges (bias, delays, cultural factors) can be mitigated by choosing well-trained evaluators and maintaining professionalism throughout.
A Faith-Based Perspective
Custody disputes test our faith deeply, shaking our sense of security, justice, and parental identity. Yet Scripture offers profound comfort: “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18). Approach the evaluation prayerfully, seeking God's wisdom for truth, healing, and what is truly best for your child. Trust that even in difficult seasons, God works for good (Romans 8:28) and values justice, mercy, and the protection of the vulnerable in family matters. Many parents find that leaning on faith communities and biblical counseling alongside the forensic process brings clarity and peace.
Conclusion
Child custody evaluations, when conducted ethically and thoroughly according to guidelines like those from the APA, serve as a vital tool to protect children's well-being amid family transitions. By understanding the process, preparing thoughtfully, and addressing complex issues such as parental alienation and interference with honesty and child-focus, you can contribute to fair, developmentally appropriate outcomes.
For further reading, I recommend Philip M. Stahl's Conducting Child Custody Evaluations, Jonathan W. Gould and David A. Martindale's The Art and Science of Child Custody Evaluations, and the APA's 2022 Guidelines for Child Custody Evaluations in Family Law Proceedings.
If you're facing a custody evaluation, suspect alienation or interference, or need support through forensic assessment or faith-integrated counseling, reach out today to schedule an appointment. I'm here to help navigate these challenging times with professionalism, compassion, and a commitment to the child's best interests—both legally and spiritually.